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| Question | Answer |
| You play with me at night before going to sleep. You can’t get caught fiddling with me at work. You only let a select few people touch me. What am I? | Your phone. | What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse? | Talk. | I start with a “v” and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? | Her voice. | I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I? | Your nose. | What’s in a man’s pants that you won’t find in a girl’s dress? | Pockets. | You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I? | A tent. | What’s long and hard and has cum in it? | A cucumber. | If I miss, I might hit your bush. It’s my job to stuff your box. When I come, it’s news. What am I? | The paperboy. | What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it you can always just use your hands? | A fork. | All day long it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? | An elevator. | I’m spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What am I? | Peanut butter. | Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is short. Daffy Duck’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What am I? | A last name. | What is hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside? The word begins with “c,” ends in “t,” and there’s a “u” and an “n” between them. | A coconut. | I start with a “p” and ends with “o-r-n,” and I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I? | Popcorn. | My business is briefs. I’m a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it regularly. What am I? | A lawyer. | You get a lot of it if you’re powerful and successful, but significantly less when you’re just starting out. You sometimes do it with yourself, but it’s a lot better when you do it with another person. What am I talking about? | Email. | Name a word that starts with “f” and ends with “u-c-k”? | Firetruck! | I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I? | An arrow. | I go in hard but come out soft, and I never mind if you want to blow me. What am I | Bubblegum. | What does a dog do that a man steps into? | Pants. | I’m great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I? | Gloves. | What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked? | A seatbelt. | What’s beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly? | The lawn. | All men have one, but it’s longer on some than others. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife once they’re married. | His last name. | I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I? | A crane. | You find me in a guy’s pants. I’m about six inches long, I have a head, and some women love to blow me. What am I? | A twenty dollar bill. | When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit, and not swallow. What am I? | Your dentist. |